Rain
by Cella N
Summary: The rain makes her vulnerable. So does he. PAIN. KONAN. On how giving into one’s desires doesn’t always help.


**A/N:** For **Cynchick**, that one Pain/Konan fic I owed you. Extremely belated, and I apologize for it.

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**Rain**

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Konan doesn't like the rain.

It hasn't always been this way. When they were children, she used to love it, used to spend time prodding and poking at Nagato and Yahiko until they would come take a walk with her in the rain. Sometimes, the dog would come too, if it wasn't too scared. They were dirt poor and alone, but somehow they always returned with a smile on their faces and mud on their pants.

It wasn't until after Yahiko was killed that Konan started to hate the rain. It was the night Nagato told her that, as the last two standing, it would be up to them to save the world from the war it was causing. When he said his new name, _Pain_, a thunder broke behind them on the horizon. It started pouring seconds afterwards.

The main reason she hates it is that it leaves her vulnerable. As their organization grows, she becomes more and more aware of the fact that her powers, compared to the others, are laughable. It makes her blood boil to realize that she is only respected because of her connection to the Leader at first, and she takes morbid pleasure out of killing a target with her jutsu, letting him bleed to death. Starting from then on, she is at least regarded with something else than the "so you control paper? That's kinda pissy" look. The startling conclusion that this power is _all she has_ in battle comes when facing Jiraiya. Maybe it's hesitation on her part, or maybe it's the water, but she is rendered useless. That's when she realizes that the irony hurts: she lives in Ame, the village of rain. If she were to step out into the streets, she'd be just as useful as a civilian with knowledge in self-defense.

That night, she questions Nagato. Deva Pain is with them, staring at her through Yahiko's dead eyes and making her skin crawl with two different opposite emotions. Her eyes blaze as they stare up into Nagato's, and she declares that she will not stand being useless, being only a puppet, a trophy female figure for their group.

Nagato doesn't speak. Instead, he's cruel, her cruel god, and gives her exactly what she's been yearning for since two years ago. Deva Pain is the one to tell her that she is not a puppet. That for all she knows, she is as powerful as the puppet master, as the god himself. And that the name she has won between their people is a truly deserved one. She's the angel of god -- without her, they would have nothing. It was for her that this whole plan started, so that she would see a world without pain and suffering, when everything was over.

The fact that she is the main reason unsettles her, but what unsettles her most is how Nagato speaks as though he will not survive this, as if he's already resigned himself to this outcome. She wants to tell him 'don't leave me alone', but he understands it without her speaking it.

Benevolent as he's always been towards her, Nagato gives her another thing she needs, to placate her distress for a while.

It happens when she's in her bedroom, away from Nagato for a while, contemplating how different everything is now. She is looking at a white piece of paper in her hand, wishing she could magically make a picture of one happy moment of their childhood appear on it. Then she wonders if a happy moment has ever happened.

Her door is opened by Pain, and Yahiko's haunting expression looks at her from the doorway, a tilt to his head, before stepping in and locking the door behind him. Konan remains seated, and stares back at him.

"Do that trick of yours, Ko-chan," he says, in a voice that's supposed to be Yahiko's, but is too monotonous and low to manage.

Seeing through her remaining friend's plan, she hisses, and crumples the paper in her hand. "Nagato, please don't," she says, although she's staring at one of his bodies, and not at him.

Pain is undeterred by her answer, and moves until he's sitting on the bed next to her. Slowly, he opens her palm, and straightens out the paper with cold hands. His head leans down so that when he speaks, his mouth brushes over her pulse point. "Show me, my angel."

"I don't have time for these ga-"

"Pretend you do," Yahiko--_Pain, Nagato, not Yahiko because he's dead and it's wrong to want him_--interrupts her, tracing the line of her neck with his tongue. "Pretend this is everything you ever wanted, Konan."

It's odd. It's odd, because in that moment, beneath the lust that's clouding her mind, she wonders if Nagato is really pretending, or if this is what _he_ wants, and cannot have. Easily, she shapes the paper into an origami, then makes it fly until she's bored with the pretence and lets it hit the floor. Then she turns her head, and presses her mouth to one of the piercings on his ear. Pain shudders, and Konan wonders if Nagato is shuddering too -- if his emaciated, crippled body can even tremble without breaking. She does it again, rolling her tongue around the stud, and trailing down to his earlobe.

And when he claims her lips, she closes her eyes and pretends it's both. Pretends that Yahiko is the one who takes off her clothes in a hurry, impatient and impulsive as he always was; and that Nagato is the one that takes his time in teasing her with his mouth, in making her cry and beg, in meticulously touching all the points in her body that need to be touched, need to be tasted, and need to be loved.

When she touches him back, she pretends she's touching them both. That Yahiko's skin is warm under her fingertips, and that the groans and sighs he makes are a result of both Pain's reaction and Nagato feeling everything. She never once questions it. She doesn't even pull away. As god's angel, she has to know what he needs -- and she realizes he needs this, or else he wouldn't have sent Pain to her.

It rains outside, and she's at her most vulnerable. They take her with a fast and hot urgency that has her tumbling from one orgasm to the other, and Pain doesn't stop until she's crying and scratching his shoulders and saying that she can't take it anymore before her last climax. When it's over, her skin feels cold, and Pain does not 'cuddle'. He rests on his side and looks at him, memorizing everything through Yahiko's eyes to send them to Nagato's. She brushes her fingers over his piercings, hoping that her friend will feel that against his skin, because she will always be too afraid to touch him directly.

After Pain leaves, Konan is left wondering. She looks out her window, bed sheets tangled up around her, and thinks. She thinks that if Nagato needs her so much that he would do something like this, that he would allow her to have the one thing she was unable to have, then she will repay him with her complete devotion. She decides that she will learn to love the rain, because she has a feeling she will keep seeing it for a long time.

She only hopes that Nagato will forgive her screaming out Yahiko's name every time.


End file.
